Where do you draw your inspiration from?
In my own life I have realized inspiration and motivation are rarely eternal and some days we will cling to reasons to not get things done. Which is why I constantly strive to explore the world and figure out what effects my mindset. By doing so I have discovered two truths about the topic and that is the difference between your fuel and your flame. A metaphor obviously but what it illustrates is that I come to the understanding that two universal forces affect my motivation/inspiration. Love and Hate. Both forces we are very familiar with, but do we rarely use effectively and that's because of the fuel flame analogy. You see people don't like me for whatever reason… I believe that it's because they do not know me and history has shown humanity will usually antagonize or belittle what they do not know. So when people say negative things about me, I smile and turn it into the "fuel" to my fire… Hate fuels my fire. It is the superficial little boost that gets me through that extra rep in a 10 rep set, that last sprint and maybe gets me out of bed for an extra 5 mile run. Those insults and doubt people try to impose on me leads to that "I won't let them be right" type of motivation. Channeling negative energy is essential for the survival and strength of my inspiration but it is in no way my flame, or the driving force of my passion. You see what I love… my family, L40, my friends my memories my passion, that's my inspiration in the form of love and it is thus my flame. Although hate will fuel my fire and help me breakthrough a last rep or sprint, Love is the reason I even wake up in the morning, love is the 10 reps I do in the set, it's my warm-up, my diet, my commitment and it is my freedom. I believe too many people get things reversed and use hate as their flame and after a while all that negative energy will cause your spirit and flame to burn out. And they use Love as a means for their fuel. Meaning they let the superficial thought of love drive their actions. Some want to get a financial reward or attract someone's attention and that's their motivation which results in (if any) an empty conquest. So like I said…. I let hate fuel my fire but let love be my flame.
What is your biggest challenge, and what do you do to manage this challenge?
Emotions. And how fitting that we call them that right? I mean break it down and it says EM-oceans and it is suitable because emotions hit us in waves or all at once, just like the ocean. We all know the beauty the ocean provides us with but we also know the pain and mystery it presents us with as well. My emotions are always the hardest thing I try to get under control, but it's hard man and anyone who tells you any different is a liar. It is a fine line we all walk… bottling them up might make it easier for a short period of time but the waves of Em-oceans will build up over time until one day you drown in them. But if we all let the little waves of emotions we experience every single second drive every single one of our decisions we will not survive a single day in this world. Both extremes result in a reality people are trying to escape…. Whether it be through alcohol and drugs or some other addiction, emotions affect our reality and intertwined with our identity and identity is a prison you can never escape.  The reason it becomes so hard for me is because I let myself feel my emotions and wrestling at Cornell is mental warfare at its finest. Case in point leading into the EIWAs I felt love, happiness, peace and tranquility, but one day I got the news my best friend Mark Grey could not wrestle with me in the tournament. This took a huge toll on me spiritually, emotionally and physically to the point I even got sick. How am I supposed to go to Princeton and defeat my demons of EIWAS past with that lurking on my brain. The answer was harder to realize than you think, but I have to understand that is the ride of life. One day you will wake up and feel sad or worried for no reason as if you lost something very valuable, but you don't remember what it was or miss someone you never knew. And some days you will wake up smiling for no reason, singing out loud and spreading positivity through out everyone you meet like it's contagious. And how you handle those emotions on a given day says a lot about who you are. Life throws a lot at you but you need to be willing to throw something back. In my world I have learned that three things are very underrated …. A good cry and a good laugh and a nighttime drive without a destination with some people you care about. All  emotional responses to the insanely unpredictable world we live in. But more importantly they distance us from the noise of the world and in these moments we catch a glimpse of who we really are. So when I am out on that mat it is never just me the robot wrestling some guy in a green anklet band…. Every time I step between the lines I wrestle with emotions and demons. That's a hard fight because they are both already in your head for a reason. And it becomes so easy to let them get the best of you, I mean think about it bad habits love when you have demons. But you must wake up every morning and choose to be happy, choose to persevere and choose to be around people with an optimistic outlook on life if you want to defeat negative emotions.
What one or two things do you currently do in your training that are keys to your success?
I'll address this in two segments… the first is how I physically train the next is how I mentally train. Physically I strive to be a different animal and the same beast everyday. When I come into practice I replay this analogy in my head "substitute art day". What that means is when I was an insane elementary school kid running around causing chaos I hated going to art because art was self expression yet the teacher would always tell us what we would be doing. Even as a kid I constantly questioned this… maybe I was wise beyond my years or realistically just a pain in the butt. But for some reason when we had a substitute teacher… art was my favorite subject because they let me do whatever I wanted. Go paint if you want or go glue random stuff or go draw a stick figure, and with that freedom I really started to learn what I wanted out of life… freedom to be me and grow as person. I could not create art for the life of me (still have handwriting of a two year old), but I learned what it meant to be free in the realm of artistic expression. In wrestling I remind myself of that everyday I go into practice. I wish someone had it on film because I go as hard as I possibly can, but rarely do I "win" in the room. I have insane amounts of fun though! I scramble, I do weird things, and somehow end up in head scratching positions, but that is innovation. That is my self expression and wrestling is my art. If you go into practice everyday focusing on your weight or doing things that make it feel like a job you will feel like I used to in regular art class, trapped. And how can a flower grow into anything if it's being crushed everyday. As for the second segment, I take care of myself mentally like no other. I use self talk, goal setting, visualization, diary keeping and meditation. I won't go into all my tricks and hacks because this a topic I am extremely passionate about and if someone really cares enough about it I like to take the time to sit down and talk to them about it.
How do you handle pressure and stress on and off the mat?
By realizing a couple of universal truths. The first is that some sort of test or obstacle right in front of us usually creates stress. Whether we experience physical stress to the point where our body aches or emotional stress that leaves time at a stand still. Stress on any level is detrimental to the growth of any human being. My train of thought has brought me to a place where I have recognized that no single test in this life will speak with accuracy as to my heart, my soul, my intelligence or my worth as an athlete, son or person. Despite what most of us feel in the library preparing for a midterm in let's say economics. This test is not who we are, it is not our future and will mean nothing in terms of the cosmic story. I have accepted that even if I fail that test … the sun will come up and enable me to chase my dreams the next day. This realization has let me know that I am not all the times I messed up or failed…. I am not a C- grade…. I am not a missed phone call or late attendance to a meeting, but rather I am the person who has learned from that experience and grew into something more. The world is not going to end because you didn't get an A on your case study despite the idealization of perfection in our society. It is okay to have a meltdown once in awhile but persistence through those low points will pay off and help you transcend. I mean hey.. don't forget that before the first caterpillar became a butterfly it thought it was going to die…. Then it was like wow. If you get caught in a vicious cycle involving stress you need to take a step back from the noise and gain some perspective. When I am in a time of stressful difficulty I meditate to obtain clarity and prevent myself from getting  sucked down deeper into the madness that is life. It is very similar to boiling water.. when water is boiling you cannot see your reflection. Similarly in life in times of stress getting angry and sad will not enable you to look inside yourself for the truth or answer to your problems. It will only make it worse. Taking time to meditate and distant yourself from the harsh "noise" around us will help you defeat the blame, doubt, fear or heaviness that is trying to take your inner peace. Another truth I have come to accept is that stress and pressure are non-existent. They are an entity we project our fears, insecurities and shortcomings into. If you ask someone who puts stress on you? They would say "me" and that is a paradox in itself. We are constantly being defeated or battling the monsters we created. Being crushed by forces we decide the weight of. Ask yourself why you are being crushed by something that does not weigh anything? Lastly people need to understand that stress and pressure are the product of a major way of thinking that destroys a lot of people's spirits, the time trap. By this I mean that we create an enormous amount of strain and stress on ourselves by putting our subconscious through a mental game of tug of war between the past and future. Despite the fact that this moment is the only one we are actually part of. We try to live in the past and future at the same time. This causes great distress on our mind, but it is a process we all take part in, which is why I started to ask why be fixated on one or the other? The past is gone, only a fool is burned by the same flame twice. The past can hurt, but you need to learn from it not run from it. When a pelican dives into the ocean to hunt it fills its beak with water and its physical prey. However, the pelican only concerns itself with the physical prey it caught not the liquid to nourish its soul and keep living. This is crucial in conquering the past because I remind myself DO NOT FORGET the lessons the past have taught you (physical prey). But you must disregard the details of the past because there is no significance there (the liquid). The unnecessary details of the past (coulda, woulda, shoulda) are the ones that prove to consume us if we let it. And the future is just as scary to obsess over and twice as draining. We are the only species on earth that actually keeps time in terms of the hour, the minute, the second, and because of that we suffer the biggest threat of all, the fear of time running out. But why do we fear time running out? There are two possibilities to this life the first is that there's more to life than the physical reality we have come to know. And in that theory our souls will drift to a great beyond of place of eternal happiness when our time in the physical sense is over. If that is the case than we have no rationale to fear death, failure, lost relationships, rejection or damage to our ego. The alternative is that this is it. Our time here is all that we have and then you die. If that's the case than we must refuse to be average or to be talked away from our truest desires. We must touch lives, laugh for no reason, avoid toxic relationships, and chase down our dreams. Like a madman chasing the sun because this is the only life we get. The day I accepted this and let go of all that fear was the day I started having an extremely different outlook on life. An outlook that is stress free.
How has your time on the team affected your life off the mat?
It is taught me to move beyond people's actions and care enough about someone's circumstances if you want to understand them or the battles they fight everyday. In other words be curious, not judgmental. It does not matter if a person is younger or older than me, sometimes everyone hits a low point and I think it's a divine concept that you can be the person who helps them out of it through being a person who cares. Being on the team helped me meet people from all walks of life and create relationships that will last a lifetime. And that's the most important thing to me, creating connections. Spiritually, physically ,emotionally connecting with people is one of the most special things you witness in this lifetime. I have one more year here and the more days that go by the more I realize how precious time is. It is cunning and tragic and it is because of that I appreciate the connections I have here more and more. One day I won't have those long bus rides, those inside jokes, those seemingly impossible 6 AM lifts and these guys standing next to me going through the same struggles as me. One day we will all become physically distant from each other and those group laughs will become scarce. One day the bumps and bruises won't be in as high a frequency  and that place we went to just to escape the outside world will not be a walk across campus. The time on this team has taught me to appreciate time and memories and friendship because one day I will not be an athlete, I will just have the memories of one.
What are you goals for the future? Where do you see yourself in 15 years?
The future is a mystery, but I want to be that guy who when people see their day gets a little better. We all know these people, they come around and are light hearted yet disciplined and make you feel like you can accomplish anything or that whatever you are doing is important or special. Make you hear lyrics you have never seem to notice or think about concepts you have never dabbled in. They might make the rain more enjoyable and help the colors seem brighter. These are once in a lifetime people and that's my goal. With whatever direction I go towards I will always ask myself, "If money didn't exist, would I be chasing the same dream?". When talking about the future I feel like most people would reference the usual pillars of solidarity and structure here. The white fence, the family, the 9-5 desk job they secretly hate. But honestly this is a question I tend not to obsess over because of the danger involved in that endeavor. Putting your head down and the blinders on can make you miss out on some of the best years of your life. I do not want to miss out on that moment the majority of people seem to pass by, the moment that could have changed everything.  People give up on that one thing they truly wanted deep down and for what? All in the hopes that you land a job that pays well at a company that's profit oriented so you can finally afford the things you thought would make you happy is so basic. Forget that. Making a living is way different than making a life. And some people are so poor all they have is money. I want to be rich in memories. Rich in adventures. Rich in photos from when I went  through Europe . Rich In late night pow-wows with my boys in Kris Horvath's shed. Rich in spontaneous and passionate romance. I want to be rich in experience, in wisdom, in advice. I want to be rich in risks and rich in opportunities to change people's lives for the better. Some people might laugh at that and make judgments about it. Some might say that's sad. And let me tell you something if you are one of those people, that is not sad. Sad is waking up in 15 years with a wife you no longer love, two kids who hate you, a nanny who is stealing from you and a job that each day opens up your soul and takes a piece of it away from you everyday you do a spreadsheet. There is nothing sad about living a life of risk, but there is something sad about living a life you never really had a say in, a life of playing it safe. In 15 years I want to be open minded, open hearted and open spirited. Still trying to make a difference in the way people think. In 15 years I want to have built a life I do not need a "vacation" from.
What advice would you give yourself as a college freshman?
1. Do not fix your toes, they will always be a cornerstone of your identity.
2. Take the time to ask people about their day or actually care enough to listen when someone talks to you. People always need someone. And in the end they will forget what you said or even what you did, but never forget how you made them feel.
3. Never leave L~40 behind.
4. Not everyone has the same heart as you and that will mess you up.
5. Hustle.
6. Never be a part of a mediocre process, put your heart into it.
7. Be loving and encouraging, but people can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves.
8. Every risk is a good story or a good lesson. You are not going to look back and remember the nights you got plenty of sleep.
9. Be yourself… Everyone else is already taken.
10. Throw the kitchen sink ..... Because ur not here to take part, you are here to take over.
